I love the weekend. I love being able to sleep in, take it easy, watch a little golf, play a little golf, go on dates with my wife, and if we're really in a sunny mood, go to the beach together. I love sitting with Stacy and watching our favorite NBC shows on Thursday nights (the beginning of my weekend). It's a mentally relaxing time for me and for her.
My weekends have been lacking personal time with God, though. I've found ways to keep busy. And when the thought about spending time with God crosses my mind, I'm pretty good about juistifying it: "I need a break," "It's the weekend, it's ok." "God wants me to take a break." "I don't like reading on the weekends." It's not that I think God is going to punish me if I don't spend time with him on Fri or Sat. I'm just finding that going through the weekend without any personal worship time leaves me dry and thirsty come Sunday morning. I always allow myself some time with God before I arrive at church, which I should. I've got a pretty decent routine throughout the week as well. But my worship experience as a music director is much different on Sundays when I've been meeting with God throughout the weekend.
My repentance is this: I have not viewed God as my ultimate source of rest on the weekends. I've allowed my fun to become my object of affection, and it never lives up to its appeal. I'm not trying to condemn fun. Fun will always be fun. But I enjoy fun alot more when I'm satisfied in God.
I don't hear God saying to me, "Rick, why haven't you had you're quiet time? I'm angry with you." I hear Him saying, "Rick, if you need rest, rest in me. If you're burdened and tired, rest in me. If it's fun you're looking for, come dance and sing in my presence, where you won't be let down, and your greatest longings will be quenched. My yoke is easy, and my burden is light."